AUGH. The morning nurse at my OB/GYN's office is a massive, condescending bitch. Apparently I had a magical appointment on the 12th of January (Made on the 1st of December according to her, exactly 3 weeks before I knew I was pregnant. HEY! MAGIC!) I said that I would have been happy to come in if I'd KNOWN I had an appointment, but that when I called in to see if my doctor's voodoo had worked and if the OB would even be seeing me, the girl who answered the phone (different girl) said, "Oh, yeah. We called you (didn't). Your first appointment is the 4th of February! Okay, fine. Whatever, no big deal, right? Miscommunication somewhere.
No, not right. This harpy bitch proceeds to rant about how a midwife called and triaged me over the phone and how she knows that happened because they WRITE STUFF DOWN! I said, "I swear I've NEVER spoken to a midwife there. I've never spoken to a midwife ANYWHERE. For ANYTHING." Where she proceeds to get all passive aggressively bitchy on me. Then she argued with me over my due date.
CB: Crazy bitch
S: Me
CB: We have your due date as August 17th!
S: Oh! My doctor changed it to August 24th, I forgot to mention.
CB: No, no no. We have your first day of your last period as November 11th.
S: Yes, that's right. But there-
CB: So it's be August 19th based on a 28-day cycle. (firstly, no. No it wouldn't. It'd be August 18th.)
S: Well yes but-
CB: I don't see what the problem is except that you stated it being earlier than it was. It's not the 24th.
S: But it is. When I went into-
CB: If your due date was the 24th, your LMP (last period) would have been on (date I don't remember) but it wasn't, was it?
S: *sigh*
CB: What's the matter?
S: Yes. It was on November 11th. My cycles are more like 27 days instead of 28. And I had an ultra-.
CB: Oh so it would be August 18th then, you're nearly 10 weeks pregnant now.
S: But-
CB: Yes because it says here...
S: THE FETAL POLE MEASURED SMALLER THAN EXPECTED.
CB: *shuts up*
S: When they did an ultrasound. An ULTRASOUND, the fetal pole measured 8 weeks at what I estimated to be 8 weeks, 6 days. So they bumped my due date to August 24th!!
CB: Oh. Why didn't you say so?
I almost screamed at that point. I kind of want to kill this woman.I wouldn't have called in the morning at all if I didn't want to make up that imaginary appointment as soon as possible. Even that was a trial.
CB: We'll get you in tomorrow. We have 10am open.
S: A-
CB: And 10:30 and 11:30.
S: O-
CB: And 12:30 and 1:30 and 2:30
S: I-
CB: And 3:30 and 4:30 and even 5:30!
S: Ok-
CB: Which one do you want?!
S: 1:30!
CB: Good girl.
When I'm heavily pregnant and it's more socially acceptable, I'm going to backhand her.
So why. WHY must I see this OB? Why not see one with a receptionist that doesn't raise my blood pressure just by existing? Because this OB is incredibly worth it if you can get in to see her. IF. I had to practically break my way into that practice with a crowbar and no bitch receptionist is going to make me quit now.
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I remember arguing with my OB nurse about my due date. They said August 8th, but I had figured it out as August 15th..... Ben arrived on the 17th. I know they have formulas and math and crap but you know yourself better than anyone. I happened to know exactly which day I got pregnant, but they don't seem to care about what you know..... Let them use their fancy math crap, smile and nod, and know you're right in your head. They're the "professionals" you'll never get through to them.
ReplyDeleteI'm thinking the aforementioned baby will come when it damn well wants. Tandy? Breathe.
ReplyDeleteIt wasn't math they used so much as measuring the embryo and it measuring at 8 weeks of growth. To which I was like, "Fuck, I lost 6 days." I'm calming down, thoughI mean, I'm no longer staring at a clock and waiting for every 24 hours to pass by counting the seconds.
ReplyDeleteThe big issue is that anyone who knows me, knows how impatient to the point of rage I am. If I decide that we need and can afford a piece of furniture, I CANNOT WAIT another day to get it. In fact, I'm probably already halfway to the store to pick out that piece of furniture. And I'm having a slight internal panic about how I know I'm going to have to wait for it to be delivered and I can't handle that. So being pregnant is like impatient torture for me. But I know that after a few weeks I'll have gotten bored with being so eager for each second to pass and I'll calm down.