I should really have to think about this. I should.
I don't.
Fred Phelps. I mean...sure, the entire Phelps clan - but he's a good start. I'm sure that without him, his daughter Shirley would continue the Westboro Baptist Church - and his sudden and violent death would probably just make them claim "the gays" did it or something - but wouldn't that be an awesome news report?
In other news, Westboro Baptist Church leader Fred Phelps spontaneously exploded today, showering his hateful minions in a fine spray of his own body.
I would probably choke to death from suprise/amusement/joy/andthenguiltbecausewhochokestodeathfromjoyatanotherperson'sdeath?
If I had like...5 random people explodings? It would go in this order:
Fred Phelps
Shirley Phelps
Pat Robertson
Ann Coulter
Pat Robertson again just to make sure.
2. You can flip a switch that will wipe any band or musical artist out of existence. Which one will it be?
This one's hard because even if I hate someone's music - I can appreciate almost.....
No, no. Now that I think about it, Flo Rida. Immediately, lets find that switch.
3. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?
Glenn Beck, especially if he's weeping like a little bitch about how "the country from his childhood" is no longer the country we live in.
4. What is your favorite cheese?
I don't really have a favourite. I like any really strong cheese, even some of the blue cheeses as long as they have nice, sharp flavour.
5. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your immediate disposal. What kind will you make?
Dark rye bread, cream cheese and mild mustard spread over it. Roasted turkey breast with a TINY smear of cranberry sauce - just enough to give it that sour vs. sweet tang that's so lovely when it mixes with the sour of the mustard. Covered in alfalfa/garlic/onion sprouts. Now I'm drooling...
6. You have the opportunity to sleep with the movie celebrity of your choice. We are talking no-strings-attached sex and it can only happen once. Who is the lucky celebrity of your choice?
7. You have the opportunity to sleep with the music celebrity of your choice. Who do you pick?
...don't really have any musicians that I feel a powerful urge to get sweaty and naked with.
8. Now that you’ve slept with two different people in a row, you seem to be having an excellent day because you just came across a hundred-dollar bill on the sidewalk. Holy shit, a hundred bucks! How are you gonna spend it?
I just bought a house, what, are you kidding? I'd use it to buy stuff I need but can't afford like hoses for the garden so the fruit trees that look like they're starving don't die.
9. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?
Tahiti. Just because.
10. Upon arrival to the aforementioned location, you get off the plane and discover another hundred-dollar bill. Shit! Now that you are in the new location, what are you gonna do?
Pay for my hotel room - am I being too practical?
11. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. It is…?
Willamette Valley Vinyards Oregon Blossom wine.
12. Rufus appears out of nowhere with a time-traveling phone booth. You can go anytime in the PAST. What time are you traveling to and what are you going to do when you get there?
1929. I'd sterilize my great grandmother so my grandfather could not have existed. I'm aware that this means that I wouldn't exist - but it would make the world a better place if neither he nor any of his progeny existed. We got a whole generation of assholes out of that scrotum.
13. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?
Naked day every Tuesday.
14. You have been given the opportunity to create the half-hour TV show of your own design. What is it called and what’s the premise?
I'd probably create a children's TV show that won't actually make them dumber. I'd call it Little Minds or something like that. Unfortunately, no one would watch it because it won't make them dumber.
15. What is your favorite curse word?
Shit.
16. One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?
After promptly crapping myself?
17. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the item?
Well, my wedding ring is on my finger so...my favourite photo of Simon.
18. The Angel of Death has descended upon you. Fortunately, the Angel of Death is pretty cool and in a good mood, and it offers you a half-hour to do whatever you want before you bite it. Whatcha gonna do in that half-hour?
Figure out what hallucinagens I took to imagine an Angel of Death that I don't believe in. Stop taking them, be awesome forever.
19. You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What’s it gonna be?
Super strength. I always wonder what super heroes do if their only superpower is to fly or to walk through walls. This is not helpful in beating up bad guys.
20. You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?
First time I had sex with my husband.
21.You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?
This will never be spoken of.
22. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Bitchin’! What country are you going to live in now?
France.
23. This question still counts, even for those of you who are under age. Check it out. You have been eternally banned from every single bar in the world except for ONE. Which one is it gonna be?
I don't really care for bars.
24. Hopefully you didn’t mention this in the super-powers question…. If you did, then we’ll just expand on that. Check it out… Suddenly, you have gained the ability to FLOAT!!! Whose house are you going to float to first, and be like “Dude, check it out… I can FLOAT!”?
I have 12 foot ceilings. I'd work on getting some of these cobwebs out - then we'll see about getting floaty elsewhere.
25. The constant absorption of magical moonbeams mixed with the radioactive vegetables you consumed earlier has given you the ability to resurrect the dead famous-person of your choice. So which celebrity will you bring back to life?
Leonardo DaVinci - I'd love to see his take on modern medicine and technology - I'll bet he'd be like a kid in a candy store. I think that of all the inventors of his time - he might be one who could actually understand what he was seeing with a bit of thought.
26. The Celestial Gates of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person, etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?
Eh. Dead people can stay dead. Its a part of life.
27. What’s your theme song?
Johnathan Coulton - Re: Your Brains
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